Run for cover.

You just can't imagine what looking at this photo does to my insides. It's like the hard wall I built around my heart is caving inwards and soon will be left with nothing but a rubble of despair.


Okay fine, a simpler way to put it is; I want this for myself.


No, not having an old man kissing my cheek. That's just weird. Well it wouldn't be if it were my late grandfather whom I have never met. 


I want this kind of love. The one that lasts till you're old and grey. The kind that has decades of memories encompassed into one relationship. 


I want to like the person I'm in love with or at least have that longing. The longing of wanting to grow old together. Someone who I know will be there til the world comes down.


I know I've said previously that I would minimize my rants on love, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to keep herself sane. 


I can't remember the last time I missed someone or have thought of someone with such a longing.


I miss that. *sigh*

~xoxo,moumou~

Needs/Wants.

I want food,
I want world peace,
I want the cure for cancer,
I want the abuse against animals to stop,
I want child abuse to stop,
I want Malaysia to be ruled by leaders who aren't selfish self-centered egoistic bastards,
I want Sabah to get richer from the natural resources that are being stolen,
I want to hit the jackpot so I wont have to worry about money,
I want to be skinny so I could fit into size 2 dresses,
I want Sheldon Cooper from big bang theory to be my best friend,
I want a guy who could appreciate me,
I want my parents to live healthy and forever,

want want want want want want.

Are wants needs though?

I need sleep, but I'm typing this out right now.
I need to quit smoking, but I still light up once in a while.
I need to study harder and smarter, but I still leave it to the last minute.
I need to take action on my beliefs, but here I sit on my ass ranting out on a blog entry.

Human beings are made to be resistant, I was told once by a very lousy lecturer. That was the
only smart thing she has ever said.

There is no conclusion to this unstructured post.

And frankly, I don't care.

~xoxo,moumou~

Insignificantly important.

It's no big deal. You're not a big deal. But I want you anyway.

~xoxo,moumou~

Change.

The only constant is change.

I remember my cousin, Gerard, used to find that phrase very fascinating due to its contradicting meaning individually as words.

But...

Change is inevitable. That's the only way human beings can ever better themselves. And hopefully for me, 10 weeks from now, I will be the same person but in a different body.

See you in 10 weeks. :)

~xoxo,moumou~

Hand-me-down heart.

Have mercy on me.
Be kind to my battered heart.

~xoxo,moumou~