I'd like to think that turning 21 has opened my eyes to see things in a different light. I'd like to assume that aging one year could dramatically help me realize the bigger picture in life. Well, I'm not there yet but I'm almost half-way there.
I'd also like to think that people reading this are wondering why did I delete 212 blog posts(and not even backing up any of it). Well, for those who are honestly curious and wish to keep up with my life; I deleted it for I couldn't bear having a constant reminder of how petty and shallow-minded I was. Was. I wonder if I should say was or am. Potato Tomato.
All I could think about right now is to pull my grades up. And hopefully I'd be able to hit the 3.8 cgpa. When will I be the girl who makes it into the dean's list? I need to show for something while I still can. I want to be successful in life and not cruise through life depending on my parents or on anyone. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet without crutches but most importantly...I want to give back to my parents what they have given to me.
I couldn't give them life, but I can give them a good life. It would only be a fraction of what they have given me but it's better than nothing.
I'd like to be there for my friends more. Lately, I couldn't balance my studies and my friends but hopefully by next semester I could balance it out. I love my family, I love my friends and I need to succeed. I'm always there for my family and I need to make more time for my friends. Most of my most memorable days were spent with them. *sigh* Memories~ All alone in the moonlight~
I'd also like to provide for my brothers one day. To give them the best in life and the tools to succeed.
I'd like to help the world one day, starting with the people closest to me.
If it's not obvious enough, I'm afraid to leave the world without leaving a mark.
Yes, I'm a little left to center but I believe that makes me who I am today.
Now to touch a topic which will be rarely mentioned (I promise you) in this renewed blog, is love. It took me this long to realize that my wrong choices in love has maimed my life and goals. So now, instead of having it control me, I will control it. The past people I've loved and lost, loved and was never loved back or loved and let go; has made me stronger. Smarter. Wiser. Careful. Especially careful.
When going down the road of loneliness and insecurity, I thought I didn't deserve a lot of things and settled for people below me. Never again. The next man I am ever going to give my heart to is going to work hard to fit into my life, he has to be at par with me or better. Even if he is better, he will never make me feel small. And I REFUSE TO SETTLE FOR ANYONE WHO EXPECTS ME TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER JUST SO HE DOES NOT FEEL EMASCULATED. So what if I'm difficult? If a man ever tells me again that I am difficult, he's just probably had too many sluts before meeting a proper girl. RAWR!
So much demands out of life but I am a girl. I am allowed to be this way. If you have read up to this paragraph, thank you for sticking it out.
Till the next time, take care, make a difference, and be safe.
~xoxo,moumou~
