Taking It As It Is.

There was always a reason on why I threaded carefully through certain things in life. This was one of them.

I've done this before and I've done it again. And now I'm left with a playlist of songs that can soothe the ache within. These days, I couldn't even stand the sound of my own thoughts. This tragedy(I'd like to think of it as one) has plagued my emotions and left me feeling hollow.

Thank you for all that I'm feeling by the way, for through this bitter experience I know I am alive.

~xoxo,moumou~

All sigh-ed out.

You know, you could say so much about someone without realizing how ugly it makes you feel. Gossip. It's fun when you do it in the comfort of your close friends or family. It's fun when you barely know the person and just feel like channeling all your frustrations onto someone. And it's especially fun when you don't like that individual.

I draw a fine line on gossiping based on factual/non-factual information and degrading someone just to feel better about your own short-comings. Yes, I am one to speak considering I make fun of people's horrible grammar but the FACT is that it is horrible and its genuinely mind-fucking.

I know I've said many things about many people and I know my words have probably reached their ears. Truly, I am sorry for being immature and less thoughtful about the outcomes of my actions.

BUT the things is, gossiping is done in the comfort of your CLOSE friends and family. The reason we do so is because we know that the collateral damage would be minimal and the chances of the said individual finding out is low.

When the trust is breached, how does one believe in you again? They don't. They'll never trust you, they'll never confide in you and they sure as hell won't include you in anything ever again. So before you decide to break someone's already fragile trust, you might want to consider where you stand in this whole thing.

These days, I have found that no matter how you try to talk sense into someone or help them find their way back to something, if they don't meet you halfway....there's no use in doing so. I apparently have wasted half my life covering a good for nothing's back and having her have my back wasn't the smartest choice either. I walked out of this relationship with a dozen cleavers stuck on my back. And yes, it hurts.

So the next time you wonder why I no longer am able to look at you in the eyes or if I turn away, it's probably because you have inflicted the highest multitude of pain anyone has ever inflicted unto me. I am a good friend but I am the worst enemy you could ever ask for. Good riddance.